sinking wif exhaustion
everyting seems to be draining the shite outta me. its hard to even try to keep up wif things now. i just lost interest. i cant seem to focus properly. i am so exhausted that i dun even sleep well. and working opening sure didnt help as much. goin to work is like going to a battle every single day. its been a drag as of late. i actually haf to force myself to get up and go to work. thats sumting new. heh.
and you, of all the things to say to me. how could you even? and u dun wish to break my heart? how is that even possible? you broke my heart 2 yrs ago wen you said you dun love me anymore. so theres no more breakage to that that you could even do. its oready broken.
how exactly do you break a broken heart?
but my burning question is, how could you even said that? and you said you still love me. dun i know it all, hun? dun i? just so you know that hearing or rather reading what you wrote hurts a fuking hell more than knowing things aint gonna happen. and i wasnt even saying anything. all these while. not a fuking word hun. all i did was to continue loving you in silence. and dealing wif everything on my own. and even that apparently is a problem.
i am in sinking in exhaustion wich i fear might turn to sinking back to being 'reactive depression'. the one that was diagnosed a couple of yrs ago. this time, maybe, happy pills are good for me. i cant seem to be fuking bring myself up. so prolly help is needed.
fuk all these, really!
"Selagi daya hatiku ini,
akan tetap ku menyayangi.
duka tiada ku peduli,
bila rindu membelenggu"
- Rela Setia, Didicazli
