i feel sick of myself. mistakes i told myself repeatedly i wuld avoid happen once too many times. i tend to get lost in excitement. and wen that happens, i tend to use my feelings instead of using my head to tink. not the best reason to validate my doings but thats that.

earlier i had it handed to my face. i am still overly furious over the fact that i was being dragged into sumting i was nvr apart of. i am not saying it aint my fault. it is. it shudnt haf happen and it did. noting for me to say that wuld make it right. wats done is oready done. but one thing, one small thing i dun understand is why was it made known?

the last i felt this shittiest and sick of myself was a couple yrs back. i cannot imagine i felt this much abt myself now. its just so sickening. i feel like running away. packing up and just leave.
looks like i am back to running. i dunno why. i haf this extreme feeling of packing up and leave. and i tink i might just do that.
i hate myself. but i am not going to apolagised over sumting that takes 2 hands to clap.