hmm. its been 2 yrs since it all started. as always seem like yesterday. how fast tym passes you by. shud haf grad as well by now if i hadnt farked ard too much. so the consequences of that is to extend for another 6 mths. wich works out well actually coz it gifs me more tym to tink things thru b4 i hit my after-skool crisis.


i remember how i used to dream to do my degree here and den getting my PR. and its weird getting der. having ur dreams fulfilled and actually living it. but dreaming such tings are alot more simpler than having to live thru it.
and i noe i cant complaint. coz i am one of the few lucky bastards who actually get this opportunity. of course i am not complaining. hell! i got wat i dreamt of.


opps! sorry! this isnt my dream. this is sumbody else's dream. i nvr dream to get my degree in engineering. coz i cant be farked. and i still dun. i am going thru this coz i haf to no matter wat.
and wen i want to live my life for a moment, i am not allowed to. why? coz i haf responsibilities and prior commiments that i cant just push aside to haf a life I want.
and i am being selfish trying to have my own life. and wat? u nvr stand to tink that ur being selfish making me live ur dreams. and ten yrs of doing that is still not enuff?


no! no! its not bcoz of a boy. every major decision i made has nvr been about a boy. so dun tell me that i am loving the boy too much and that i am silly for giving that life up for sumting that is still hazy.
let me tell you this, the boy has nvr asked me to stay or not leave. NVR.


i am not getting any younger. this is like a do or nvr chance. i want to see wat it feels like to do sumting for myself for a change. to lead that life i dream of. to live my life and no sumbody else's. is that too much too ask for? is that me being selfish?
no! i dun tink so. i noe my ife is always back home. why cant i lead a new life here? why must i go back to continue the life i left 2 yrs b4? is it not right to try a whole new life?


this is my sound of white. this is wat i want. for myself. whether its good or bad, thats for me to experience and find out. all i am asking for. be happy and smile and tell me gd luck.
dun tell me i'm selfish. coz i noe i am nowhere near it. not even close.