it be such a lie to say that i am ok. i am not. and i wun be the same. ever again. the wound still hurts. and its not gonna heal anytym soon. same goes to the love. its not easy to love sum1 so much for 4 yrs and den had to gif it all up.


i hadnt had tym to tink abt it coz i was so busy studying for an exam. but it crept back soon as ders free space. and i didnt realise how painful it was. or it will be.
i naively tot it wuldnt end this way. i naively tot the ending would be alot sweeter. i mean i know all along that it wuld nvr be me he choose. but i had hoped. and hoping taught me my worst lesson of all. nobody will understand the hurt. the million little pieces my heart broke into.


i had the urge to sms the other day but i didnt get thru wif it. ders no point. as always, the decision is made. wheres the sense in wanting to say more? where wuld it get me nwayz? definitely not gonna get me wat i lost.


so the fairytale ending nvr happen. i been so foolish. and too naive.
he was the only hope i had. he was the only hope i hold on to. and the hope had died. no more hoping. hoping doesnt get me anywhere

i be ok. in due tym. nobody can help me. nobody can put back the pieces. this is sumthing i need to do on my own. i need to piece the broken together. by myself. not relying on others.
this is my mess. i got myself into and led me to it this far.
i owe myself that much to do all of the healing myself.